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dil_crowley's Journal

11th April, 2008. 12:04 pm. New unit=no life

new unit currentky under ops at wdlns and tuas checkpoint...

working hrs suck like hell...

and even in my off day... must come back to camp by 2359

haiz......

aniwaes, will be on hiatus for awhile...

wont b goin home for awhile after today...

pape picit ah eh...

tk cr everybody..

Current mood: blank.

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7th March, 2008. 10:56 pm. 6 mths.... coming to an end...

Its been a hell of a ride for the past 6 mths...

nobody could have told me what to expect... and i for 1 didnt expect to face challenges that i faced in cda...

soon, its going to end... and even though the past 6 mths has been the most shittiest... it has been the most memorable...

this has been where i grew up...
this has been where i mature...
this has been where i learned how to be a man...

1 of us has sadly gone... lets try to keep the rest from being kicked out...

No words can describe what iv been through but i can assure everybody... it has been a learning lesson.... be it physical, mental or emotional....

So, regardless of whether i pass out as an ERS, i will never regret entering the course... cos what i have gained goes beyond the level of money or rank...

And to my dear brother who has sadly gone out... we all miss u.. thanx for all the wonderful things you've done for me and for the rest... i will always remember you as the guy who helped me pass my pull up....

And to the rest of my brothers, we'v been through almost everything together... u guys have been like my 2nd family for the past 6 months... we'v seen each other laugh, smile, cry, break down and worse.... we'v shit, bath, slept, eat and sweat together... Nothing can break the bond that we have... not even "EL Capitano"... haha...
I would like to thank all of u for the times shared through thick and thin..... and i would like to wish all of you the best in your future endeavours... 27th ERS will always be in my heart.... no matter what happens...

"You go, I go. I got your back and i will never leave you behind... No matter how bad it gets..."

POC is so going to be an emotional day..............

27th ERS... Lead With Pride...

Current mood: drained.

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15th June, 2007. 1:28 am. work sux....

haiz... iv been like so fucking bz with werk....................................................................................................TIRED...............................................

its times like tis wer i realli miss the carefree life of school...... yelah, memang skola ader exams and all that shit.... but still... its like a hella of a lot better than werkin ridiculous 15 hrs siak!!

sumtimes ppl are like so bloody selfish..... im like fucking driving and u expect to finish work at 3 am in the morning and report back to werk at 8 am... ko pk aku mesen ke per!!!

klau aku mampus saper nak jawab siak..... and jus the other day aku tertdo while driving.... my first time and it was quite scary... come to think of it....

Luckily my cigarette hit my hand....... omg.......... klau tak da members sumer makan free eh......

and i jus realised its realli important to earn gaji yg halal.... company aku da lah serve alcohol and stuff... tapi yg manager melayu... supervisor melayu.... and aku perasaan eh aku asik kena saman jer.... parking da kena 2 kali... speeding da kena sekali... haiz..............

thank god the next 3 days i wont be werkin... dpt rehat....

and a special shoutout to 1 of my frens,

i noe how u feel man.... trust me.... ive been there b4..... but hey, it happens to the best of us... aku reali harap ko jaga diri ko baik2 k... jgn pkkan dier sngt ah... wtv it is, ul always hv the geng rite... and we are definitely goin to party aight...

Current mood: tired.

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12th May, 2007. 2:00 am. DOUBLE TROUBLE!!!!






REALLY COOL SHIT!!! MAKES ME WAN TO GO BACK TO MY ROOTS!! ENJOY.....

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12th May, 2007. 12:46 am. If loving someone and hating someone at the same time is not love..... then i dunno what is???

this is just random entry....

ive been pretty bz tis week with work.... goin to be bz with work for the next two weeks... haiz.... if only money cld fall from the sky...

apa nak jadi eh fadil... biler tak keje complain boring... biler keje malas pulak... tapi eh... i realised im getting very rusty at my job... da mcm da karat giler ah..... kadang2 ader part aku lost jer......

aniwae.... went out with nurul the other day.... had a very fun outing... tanx gal... :-)

hhmmm... aku rasa sumer da tgk crite spiderman 3 kan??? how issit ah?? iv asked almost everybody and it seems everybody da tgk.... klau ni mcm kan... terpaksa lah aku tgk sorang....

hhmmm... da lama seh tak club... if only my problems never existed.... but then again.... wat is life without problems rite.... hahaha....
And iv been doin a lot of thinking.... i wan to continue my bike license ah... (kiwak fadil!!! tak habis2 ke???!!!) hehehe...
mcm wasted ah tak habis.... and jus bcos i pass doesnt mean i hv to buy a bike wat rite...
aarrgghh... dunt wan to think abt passing yet.... prac 5 lum lepas2 nak pass apa kan....

Btw, i really need a vacation... sumwer to relax, chill and have fun at the same time.... KL da boring.... asik menjerit jer.... was thinking mayb Bangkok?? Pattaya?? Bali??? Krabi???
Any takers pls let me know asap so that we can seriously tok and plan out the trip.... it will prob happen arnd august jus b4 i go in and serve the nation.... so sesaper2 yg interested email aku tau...

Actualli aku dari dulu tau nak open up a travelling club seh.... mcm tak paya ramai2 ah..... 5 to 10 org da cukup bagus... confem gerek nyer.... tapi members pun mesti ok2 ah perangai... yg penting jiwa dok!!! (kan aku da bebual mcm mat cd...haha)And members tak ble yang selalu buay ah....
Ceh..... aku bnyk eh plans eh..... but hell.... there is no harm in dreaming wat rite.... who knows one day dreams might come true..... hehe...

hhhmmm... apa lagi eh.... oh yah... i need to get a new perfume ah... anybody can recommend me wats nice please do yah...

klah... dats it for now... pape picit... adios...

Current mood: bored.

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24th April, 2007. 12:17 am.

You are hereby required under Section 10 of the Enlistment Act (Cap 93), to report for enlistment on 11 sept 2007 (tue) at 10 am to Singapore Civil Defence Force (SCDF).












I really hope my application to be a regular falls through................

Current mood: excited.

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9th April, 2007. 12:49 am. aint got no reason.... aint got no rhyme....

well... its been awhile since i blogged....

And since i got some free time to do so... might as well rite....

updates on my life first....
I finally graduated with a diploma in business management.... graduation ceremony will be in july... YAHOO!!!..... wat can i say.... some ppl jus need more time.... hahaha....

Life has been pretty different since graduation... schools out... dat means no more lectures... tutorials... and whatever crap that happens in school....

but that also means no more lepas sessions at mac... no more smoking areas.... no more "cuci matas"... and no more allowances.... haha...

but as per normal... Life is always full of surprises and challenges.... ups and downs...

Currently.... im working as a driver for Fine Palate.... its a catering and events management company... the pay is good... definitely much better than al-majlis....

and if im not at work.... im probably at home slackin... or out with zai, mimi, handri and the geng... or partying at M.O.S with Abu.... Thus, life has been pretty simple and fun for me.... and im truly thankful to God for that....

The house has been under renovation for the past 3 blardy weeks... and its finally coming to an end... thank god for that too....

Dad's health is improving.... i thank god for that too.... now start drinking coke again.... haha... like father like son....

although i cant really say that 2007 started out beautifully.... a lot shitty things of course happened along the way... but i have decided watever shitty things that i wan to post out will be posted as a for friends only entry... hehehe....

the wonders of livejournal.... and only now then wan to start using.... bagus kan Fadil.....

As i said.... sum people jus need more time....

Current mood: awake.

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10th August, 2006. 5:07 pm. IF is such a strong word

the other day, i was talkin to abu and another friend of ours whom we call Yan Rockers... cos he has like really long hair... n he really is a rocker maut nyer...

aniwaes, we opened up stories of the past... past flings, ex-gfs, friends... general stuff i guess...

n one of the thing dat was said dat night really had an impact on the way i think now...

no matter wat u do... there is no proper right or wrong decision... if someone does something for the wrong reasons but he makes it look right... den is that a wrong decision or a right decision????

if someone did the right thing but made it wrong.... den is that a wrong decision or a right one??

No matter how u see it... there is no right or wrong i guess... its wat u do that makes a difference... or whther u actually take the time and effort to do anythin at all that makes a difference...

If a man is to be judged by wat he has done instead of who he truly is... is that right or wrong???

if a man is judged by his actions instead of his words... is that right or wrong???

Should a man be judged at all for his past instead of his present character still remains a mystery to me.....

Surely the past gives someone credibilty wen he or she enters a new world.... but is it truly necessary??

Times change... people change... friends come and go... so how do we really know who we truly are?? do we stay loyal to ourselves and be who we are no matter where we are or whom we are with or do we change and try to adapt to a new environment and surrounding???

wat do u think??

Current mood: silly.

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29th April, 2006. 7:07 am.

i have changed the status of the previous entry as a for friends only...

i have my reasons... please dunt ask y....

but its definitely not bcos of hate taggers cos i think im immuned to tis kind of thing... i think dat im above ppl who wish to create trouble by commenting stuffs..... i mean its like if ur not happy... and u really feel im such a jerk rite... i welcome ur comments..... but at least hv the decency to say who u are correct... kenapa taknak taruk nama?? takut??? ko pikir ko taruk nama aku nak carik ko atas bawah ke apa.... haha... takder masa lah...

i dunt even hv the bloody time to meet my frens u think i wan to waste wat time i hv lookin for u ah... ko ble rilek sua... haha...

i hv to say though after having a long chat with him.... i guess i realised dat i have my faults... he has his... n she definitely has hers ah..... one thing eh aku tak pernah gadoh ngan kwn psl pompan.... n i dunt intend to start....

but as iv told him... ni kali aku betul nyer lepas tangan... i know it wld take awhile but hopefully sooner than later.... wtv happens wld not affect the way i feel one tiny bit ah....

thanx guys n girls for the comments... especially to linda... whom really understands the way i feel....

i hope dat im not askin too much from my frens though if i asked u all to not hate her..... sumhow i feel we will meet again in the future... n i mean as in the whole lot of us will be seeing her again... n she is human afterall.... she has feelings.... she has a heart.....

she once told me dat seeing me n my frens... she saw a big n happy family.... we truly are one....

pape terjadi antara aku ngan dier... is antara aku ngan dier... i shldnt hv involved my frens... especially the sss... hahahahahah.... i think u gerls noe y rite.....

honestly.. i regret wat i wrote in the previous entry... but the only reason y im not removing it totally is i wan it to be a reminder.... a chapter in my life where im reminded of such a thing happening to me... im reminded of the repercussions...... repercusions of the sins in my past which has been to much to bear....

ppl who really know me wld noe dat i dunt like to create trouble or fights thru the blogging werl... but i guess at that point in time... the hurt and anger was jus too much ah.... until it came to a point where i cldnt hold it anymore...

so to U... if u read this... i apologise for wtv iv said in my previous entry... if u wonder y i didnt kol u wen i came back... i was testing u... wanting to know whether u wld go the extra mile... an extra mile which iv always gone for u... its jus dat u never saw it... n if u wonder why i dint kol u aft knowing wat happened... the simple reason wld be that u disgusted me in a way no one ever has....
so i chose to blog... venting my anger and my emotions on a computer... which dose not say a single thing but jus listens peacefully....

haiz... sudahlah.. no point crying over spilled milk rite... wats done can never be undone... i hv to stop being a petty and emotional fool... hahahah...

my final words to u would be dat im truly sorry if iv hurt ur feelings... i shld hv spared a thought for u... best of luck in wtv u r plannin to do.... and may things work out in wtv u want to achieve...

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30th March, 2006. 2:23 pm. the yellow ribbon project

i guess the first entry in this blog wont be a cheerful one......
im sure all of u have heard about the yellow ribbon project rite...
For those who havent, its bout how ex-inmates are given a new chance to start
a new life outside after being released from prison.... however in our common society
that we live in... its human nature to judge... to judge someone by their past....

sometimes wen we do things... our actions are misunderstood bcos of our past...
i noe i had a pretty bad past.... breakin girls hearts and playing around was wat i used to do..
but how can sum1 change wen even if he or she sincerely wants to... the ppl around him keeps degrading him to same old level.... wats worse is dat the ppl who doesnt even noe him judge him as such.... commonly named a "playboy"....

i wont say dat i wished i cld turn back the time cos our past is wat makes us who we are... we learn from our mistakes and pray dat we dunt repeat them....

honestly... ppl around can say things... they can say a lot of things about ourselves... but in order to keep our sanity intact... we have to have a strong faith in ourselves... to believe in ourselves...

i guess in time to come... al truth will reveal itself... or mayb not... but whatever the outcome might be... i noe who i am.... and who i wish to be.... and to those ppl who might not noe me and judge me so negatively... all i can say is ur life.. ur choice... korang nak pikir apa pikirlah...

gua sakit hati memang ah... tapi nak buat mcm mana kan... org dah nak pikir mcm gitu...

"To each his own"

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